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Witty Comebacks

AuthorMessage
Petty Officer
May 30, 2013
97
Hello all!

Apologizes for the lack of snacks, Ratbeard had a... um, er, how do I say this.... incident involving explosives in the kitchen, redering it useless; and I'm saving up for a ship with my gold, so.... here's some invisible, intagible, weightless, tastless, odorless, colorless, uh, massless, chocolate bars! Happy?

Anyway, to the point. Have you ever fought an enemy that said something and for some reason or another, your piratical mind came up with a witty, insulting comeback that you couldn't say because somebody hot glued your mouth shut at birth?

Or maybe the witty, insulting comeback came after brutaly destroying the enemy? Whatever the cause, whatever the means, whatever the comeback, this the place to share your brilliant retorts to the insolent enemy that dared to cross your path.

And believe me, they deserve it.

~Merciless Emma Jenkins, Level 50 (still!) Swashbuckler.
Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6204
totallyawesomepira... on Mar 25, 2014 wrote:
Hello all!

Apologizes for the lack of snacks, Ratbeard had a... um, er, how do I say this.... incident involving explosives in the kitchen, redering it useless; and I'm saving up for a ship with my gold, so.... here's some invisible, intagible, weightless, tastless, odorless, colorless, uh, massless, chocolate bars! Happy?

Anyway, to the point. Have you ever fought an enemy that said something and for some reason or another, your piratical mind came up with a witty, insulting comeback that you couldn't say because somebody hot glued your mouth shut at birth?

Or maybe the witty, insulting comeback came after brutaly destroying the enemy? Whatever the cause, whatever the means, whatever the comeback, this the place to share your brilliant retorts to the insolent enemy that dared to cross your path.

And believe me, they deserve it.

~Merciless Emma Jenkins, Level 50 (still!) Swashbuckler.
Oh wonderful idea. I have been at my wittiest when reacting to the insults thrown at me by now defeated bosses. Of course I can't think of what I said but I am positive I remember being brilliant in my lobbing back of insults or the foretelling of their upcoming doom. When I do, I will know right where to put it.
Gunner's Mate
Oct 11, 2012
283
When I'm beginning to start a good PvP: "Let the games begin!"

When I finally defeat a good enemy: "I shall mourn your loss."

When I'm about to kick off an amazing round: "This shall be fun."

Deacon: "You may shoot me from the other side of the spiral, but I'll still get to you before finishing you off."

Rooke: "If you think you could beat me with mere strength, your dead wrong. Or just dead. take your pick."

Bishop: "Say Your Prayers You Knifing Thief!"

Various Battle Cries:
"I won't forget to place roses by your hospital bed."
"Time to play a little game of chess. Your the white so go first."
"Come to me my foes. come to thy opponent."
"I may look young, but I've seen things worse that you could imagine."

Counter insult: "Is that really the best you got? There is many more insults that would have been a tenfold better. Like, (rambles off a list of colorfully witty comebacks). See, all of those were much better."
Captain
May 13, 2011
564
there are lots of good comebacks, but if the opponent is trying to say something "smart" or "cool", there is one comeback that beats the rest: a yawn
Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
10631
When I returned to Monquista to get to Aquila, I saw Gortez licking ( eeww, gross ) The Monkey's Paw.
"Please, Your Majesty, get that thing out of your mouth, you don't know where its been."
Captain
Oct 26, 2012
524
Me: I'm gonna make you dead old scratch!
Old Scratch: You're 500 yrs late.

Everyone: We are all so witty.
Witty Gavin: As if.

Ratbeard: Hey Bonnie, do you like anyone?
Bonnie: Be quiet ye pesky rat!
Ratbeard: Oh, Stop blushing you red fox...

Gandry: You know Boochbeard, you drive me crazy!
Boochbeard: And ye make everyone bananas!

Catbeard: I am gonna rip these armada units apart!
Me: But first, stop ripping the curtains...

One-eyed jack: I will lead the way!
Blind mew: No I will!
Cao Zhu: The blind cannot lead the blind, me dear friends...
Admiral
Nov 23, 2011
1407
I tend toward the less witty:

"Sure, Buddy. If you say so".

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"Whatever".

Occasionally "Have at thee, varlet!" (On more formal occasions).

-Indigo
Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
10631
Golden Guardian on Mar 29, 2014 wrote:
Me: I'm gonna make you dead old scratch!
Old Scratch: You're 500 yrs late.

Everyone: We are all so witty.
Witty Gavin: As if.

Ratbeard: Hey Bonnie, do you like anyone?
Bonnie: Be quiet ye pesky rat!
Ratbeard: Oh, Stop blushing you red fox...

Gandry: You know Boochbeard, you drive me crazy!
Boochbeard: And ye make everyone bananas!

Catbeard: I am gonna rip these armada units apart!
Me: But first, stop ripping the curtains...

One-eyed jack: I will lead the way!
Blind mew: No I will!
Cao Zhu: The blind cannot lead the blind, me dear friends...
"In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king."
Does that mean that One-Eyed Jack trumps Blind Mew?
Captain
May 13, 2011
564
brass monkey: "i will have my revenge!"

me: "you might want to see the necromonkey then"
Commodore
Jan 17, 2013
751
i make a few witty comebacks now and then too, but i just like to let the good ol blades do the talking! but here are a few good ones: "i will say some nice words at your funeral! (not!) :)" "whats wrong? dont like the taste of defeat? well get used to it!" "welcome to your doom!" "hey buddy! there is a big bag of shut ur flat face over there by that tree! why dont ya go pick it up?"